I could tell you the long story about my journey from suffering to joy, alcoholism to freedom, turned off to turned on, broken to whole… but in the end it’s just a story. I have always been whole, perfect and Divine – just like you.
But since this is an about page, I guess that’s what I’m supposed to do.
The spiritual and the sensual have always been my passions. I’ve spent most of my life exploring different religions, traditions, and philosophies in search of the Divine, and I have discovered that no matter what words or labels we use to describe It, It’s all One. And we are One with It.
But despite my spiritual nature, I always felt that I didn’t belong. I felt that something was missing. There was an emptiness inside of me that I needed to fill.
I was on a search for Ananda: Divine Bliss… but it was elusive and fleeting.
I looked for it in relationships, places, certifications, successes, and substances. Mainly, substances.
I struggled with alcohol addiction for almost twenty years. In the final years I was a daily drinker. But I always knew I didn’t want to live that way – even in the beginning. On some level, I knew I had a powerful spiritual and sexual force within me (Shakti) that I was trying to TURN DOWN through the use of substances.
But I couldn’t stop.
I drank because I thought I was “too much.” I drank because I was unfulfilled in my relationship. I drank because, as an empath and highly sensitive person, I couldn’t handle the density of earth. (And guess what? If you struggle with addiction you’re probably a highly sensitive person too.) I drank because I wanted ecstasy. Because I was an introvert. Because I was in immense emotional pain. And hey, I drank because I liked it!
But most of all… I drank because I didn’t know how to handle my own Shakti.
I went to treatment multiple times and I was in and out of AA and other groups. But nothing worked. Most of the time, those groups made me feel worse about myself!
When I found a holistic, mindfulness based approach to recovery things started to click. Then, I began integrating my own knowledge of Tantra, hypnosis, energy healing, past life regression, and metaphysics to heal myself. Most importantly, I began to turn inward.
I went through hell and back learning to love myself, forgive myself, heal my shame, and actually honor and inhabit this gloriously sensual, sacred body. I found the Divine Feminine within me. I learned to be here now. I learned to fill the emptiness with my own presence. And I learned that when I do that, Ananda fills me too.
When I emerged from the fog of alcohol I began to see just how much Shakti I possess, how energetically sensitive I am, how much peace and bliss I possess, and how much pleasure this body is capable of feeling. I began to see that perhaps, nothing was wrong with me, I had simply been AFRAID OF MY OWN SPIRITUAL SENSITIVITY, RADIANCE, AND POWER. Or perhaps I thought I wasn’t worthy of it.
I share my experiences because I have no doubt there are other women out there just like me. Women who are meant to shine but they are turning themselves down, just as I did. This approach isn’t for everyone, but if you KNOW you’re a powerful Priestess/sex goddess/wise woman/witch beneath the pain, and you’re sick of dimming your light… maybe it’s for you.
Qualifications and Training
- Clinical Hypnotherapist – Palo Alto School of Hypnotherapy
- Certified Spiritual Coach – World Coach Institute
- Certified Practitioner of Intuitive Tantra – Institute of Intuitive Tantra
- Sacred Sexual Healer Level 1 – Laughing Empress Academy of Sexual Enlightenment
- Certified Spiritual Counselor – Integrative Arts Institute
- Reiki Master Teacher – Center for Wholistic Health
- Voice Dialogue Facilitator I – The Voice Dialogue Connection
- Certified Massage Therapist – Denver School of Massage Therapy
- Dream Interpreter, Tarot Reader, and lifelong student of The Science of Mind